GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
