If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
