did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
