My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
