good thing vaginas are great cup holders
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize