OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my being single is dangerous.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
