I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
