i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
