no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
