So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
