addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
