Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
