We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
