You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We need to get me chipped asap
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
