he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize