I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
