just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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