I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
