My nipple is on Facebook.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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