paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
