it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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