YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
