you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We were destined to go to rehab together
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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