do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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