i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
smell my finger.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
