I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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