she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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