I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
