dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
