I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize