these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
