return my video game
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
