Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
