I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
