Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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