He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize