Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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