Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
