You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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