what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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