I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize