My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
