She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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