barbara walters just said penis...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
