Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
