pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
