I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
50% drunk capacity currently
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
