So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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