Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
