We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
