You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
