I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
