Taylor Swift is so right about you.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
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