as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
