i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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