Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
