my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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