man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
