Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My liver just had a heart attack.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
