Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I currently don't understand fingers.
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