does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
