Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
