Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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