Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
