If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
