I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
