It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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