did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
