my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
