She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
