I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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