trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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