I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Dick very happy bro
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
