i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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