Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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