Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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